Sniper x the Quest for his Wife ENDSniper stood out on the balcony of his base. He was dejected, all his attempts at getting a wife has failed. No one wanted to marry him and he was going to have to deal with marrying another kangaroo.Sniper x the Quest for his Wife END by JUST1C3-PR3V41LS
Footsteps echoed behind Sniper. He didn't bother turning around. Someone leaned up against the railing beside Sniper, arms crossed on it.
“What is bothering you, mon ami?” Spy asked. “We have not spoken since you arrived! I want to know what you have been up to.”
Spy, surprisingly enough, was Snipers best friend. Unfortunately, Sniper hasn't seen him since his wife died because he was so caught up in finding a new wife.
“Yeah, mate. Well, you see, I've been married to a kangaroo because my parents forced me into it, right? And this kangaroo dies, so in a desperate attempt to not marry another kangaroo, I go searching for another wife. I've been dating our team mates this past month and no luck. I think I'm just destined to be married to a kangaroo...” S
Sniper x the Quest for his Wife no 6Sniper needs to find Demo. He wants to ask the man out on a date, but he is nowhere to be found. He was as elusive as Scout when it's his turn to do dishes.Sniper x the Quest for his Wife no 6 by JUST1C3-PR3V41LS
He found Demo drinking in his room. Honestly, Sniper shouldn't be surprised. The man was always getting wasted. And wasted he was, spouting unintelligible gibberish. Now is Snipers chance.
“Hey mate, I was wonderin' if you'd like to go on a date with me?”
“I know natta... fing...” Demo let out a large belch. “Aye!”
“I'll take that as a yes. We can go later when you've uh... sobered up a bit.”
“I love ya man.” Demo hiccuped and fell over.
Sniper got the hell out of there before things got any weirder. There, now Sniper had a date. He just had to plan out where and when it should be.
Later, Sniper loaded himself and Demo into his van, Demo drinking like the world was ending. What was the point of getting him sober when he was gonna get drunk again?
When the van stopped, Demo
Sniper x the Quest for his Wife no 5Sniper had an idea. Instead of trying to find a sane merc, he's decided to find the craziest. If he goes crazy, maybe he'll find what he wants? It's worth a shot, since what he's been doing hasn't been working.Sniper x the Quest for his Wife no 5 by JUST1C3-PR3V41LS
Now, for the craziest mercenary. This ought to be obvious.
Medic is in his infirmary, cleaning up broken glass and dead bees.
“I know why you're here, and no.”
Sniper felt like crying. Never has he been rejected so painfully.
“Because I'm already fucking Heavy. I don't need two children on my hands.”
“I am not a child, doktor.” Heavy's voice piped up from the door to Medics office, “But yes, my Medic is taken.”
Then Heavy and Medic shared those disgusting sweet looks that couples give each other. Yup, they're doing each other up the butt.
“Can we like, discuss a threesome or something? Please?”
“He does look like he needs it, d
Sniper x the Quest for his Wife no 4Thinking about people with brains reminded Sniper of something. Or rather, someone. Now who does he know that's really smart? Well, speak of the devil. Old western music played on nearby speakers as the man Sniper wanted swaggered in, his Texas Ten Gallon tilted slightly to the left.Sniper x the Quest for his Wife no 4 by JUST1C3-PR3V41LS
"Howdy there, pardner." Engie nodded his head in Snipers direction. "I heard you needed help findin' a purdy lady friend. Now look here son, datin' ain't all that easy. It's like ridin' a horse in the wild west for the first time and that horse is buckin' like crazy 'cause it's on fire in an oilfield. Trust me, I've done both and they're very similar."
He then took a box that appeared out of nowhere and sat on it, plucking the strings of his guitar that he removed from behind his back.
"Now let me sing ya a lil' diddy for inspiration and competence. You know, like how a bard does in that Dungeons and whatzit." Engie grinned and started playing. Unfortunately, Sniper had already left. He didn't want to hear